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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Love, Marriage, and Kids....



I still remember when my husband and I began dating. It felt like we were living out the script from the most romantic movie. I was the center of his world and he was the center of mine. We spent every waking moment thinking about each other, calling each other, doing the sweetest most romantic things---we were quite frankly an annoyance to all around us.. lol

Well, My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and quite frankly, we are still that annoyingly cute couple that we were when we started dating almost 14 years ago. Like most couples, having a baby can completely change the dynamic of even the strongest marriage creating a wall of separation between husband and wife. Becoming Parents has definitely made it more difficult to be the annoyingly cute couple, but we still manage to keep our love for each growing and burning stronger with these tips.

1. Remind yourself that you were a couple before you became parents....
A new baby can change your life and your priorities. It can mature you and develop you in ways that you can't imagine, but it shouldn't under any circumstances change your personality as a couple. Try to keep your identity as couple by still doing the things you used to love to do together before babies entered the picture. Even though you may not be able to easily plan a date or spontaneous trips, you can still spend some quality time together by having a move night at home, staging a romantic dinner at home, or speed dialing the grandparents or other family members and have a quick night on the town.

2. No Guilt Zone: There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking some time away from the kids to spend time with your spouse. You are not a bad parent if you decide to take some time to reconnect with your spouse and keep the proverbial fire of passion burning! In fact, this makes you an excellent parent. Happy couples raise happy and healthy kids. Don't get so caught up in child-rearing that you neglect each other, grow apart, and inadvertently loose the glue that holds you together as a couple. Nothing negatively impacts children more than unhappy, arguing, fighting, distance parents. Model healthy couple traits and ppositivelyimpact your children's future dating habits and relationship choices.

3. Remind yourself that you are still Vibrant, hot, and FUN: Yes, as a woman, your body changes, you feel like you have less time in the day, you feel like you are a "Mommy." Yes all these things are true and accurate feelings but these feelings are not all there is to you. After my first and second child, my body shape changed and my waist line fluctuated LOL! These changes didn't stop me from getting my hair done, my nails done, buying clothes that made me feel amazing, treating myself to a relaxing and pampering day. Remember that No Guilt Zone- Don't make your self feel guily for taking care of yourself. A healthy you will help create a healthy marriage and maintain healthy life for your children.

4. K.I.S.S- Keep It Simply Silly!: I really don't know who started the myth that couple time has to be this over the top, balloon riding in the stars, overly expensive dinners, diamonds and rose petals, etc... Couple time should be simply and intimate. It's the simply things that draw couples closer together and simplicity is a must if you are juggling your responsibility as parents with maintaining a healthy relationship.

Hope this helps! Hugs and love, 
Jeré 


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